I will be a sight for four eyes

I have finally decided I need to become a Specky four eyed geek. My eyesight is so shite I can see clearer through the back of my head! My options are contacts or glasses. I know contacts would drive me potty as I have HUGE hands. Ask anyone. They're like shovels. I find it hard to do my shoelaces let alone stick a tiny see through disc in my face! So glasses it is.

Or there could be another option. Little mini look out Martins.